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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Papa's Got A Brand New Babe

Bubbles was the name of the imaginary girlfriend with whom Steve would run away and spend all his retirement account money on in the very far, nebulous future.  Was, that is, until she manifested as his fermenter.  It seemed an appropriate name: she bubbles and he spends a lot of time and money on her.  Then one day I found her happily gurgling in the northeastern corner of our bedroom, which just happens to be the coldest room in the house.  It's also on my side of the bed.  So great- she gets to sleep with us too.  Sometimes.  When she's not in the garage.

I mentioned to him a week ago that if he had another fermenter and more bottles, he could brew enough pilsner this winter and he could brew all our beer.  We could quit buying commercial brew.   He quickly did the math in his head, and figured that after amortizing the new fermenter for awhile, he could get his batches down to fifteen dollars each.  So that's roughly fifteen dollars for two cases of beer.  Quality beer.  Delicious beer.  For fifteen bucks.

Well, this is Steve's new girlfriend, although she doesn't have a name yet. She is a shiny, polished stainless steel, whereas Bubbles is brushed stainless.  She has fancy new gasketed clamps instead of threaded connections, which will be much easier to clean.   She is well built, with quality welds and a fancy thermometer.  She is very sexy, and if I hadn't suggested her myself, I would be jealous.

I wonder how Bubbles is going to feel about this.

7 comments:

Cottage Smallholder said...

What a great post Paula. Beautifully written.

Tamar@StarvingofftheLand said...

Since you suggested it, I guess that makes you the pimp.

Wife, gardener, beer pimp. Not a bad life.

Toni aka irishlas said...

Mmmmm, beer..... drool...

Diane said...

We are very inexperienced brewers, having prepared only a couple of kits but the results were good enough (actually great) that we hope to do some more but...the kits are a lot more than $15. How do you purchase your ingredients and where in the process do you start?

John said...

Just make sure you ease Bubbles into it. Introduce them casually and see if they hit it off. Of course, a little booze might make things go smoother. I'm sure the four of you will be very happy together!

Paula said...

Beer pimp. Hmmm. Do I like that or not? I'm not sure. However, if the shoe fits...

Diane- Steve started off buying grain and malt extracts, and his yeasts and hops from F. H. Steinbart in Portland. He's still a regular Steinbart customer, only now he's going all grain, which is less expensive than the malt extracts. I'm guessing it's trickier as well, but I don't help with the brewing- just the bottling. Oh- and the drinking. His last batch was under $20, and he figures that once we're growing enough of our own hops, he can get it down around $15. (The hops are already in the ground- they just need to get busy.)

That doesn't include amortizing the two fermenters and the two fancy brew pots, though. Once he's done buying the filtering for the new brew pot, I think he's done for equipment, though. For awhile, anyway.

Thank you, Fiona!

Toni- if you think beer tastes good, you should smell it while it's being made. WAY better than bread baking, if you can imagine that.

Karen S said...

Paula,

Catching up on your blog. Bubbles isn't a bad girlfriend for you and Steve to have. Hope all is well.

Karen