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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Tales From The Woodcutter's Wife

Once there was a garage that had no wood rack, but it had a lot of wood that needed stacking neatly.  The woodcutter's wife thought to herself, "here it is August already, and I have no rack for the firewood. I guess I'd better get cracking on that."  So the woodcutter's wife and the woodcutter went off to the Big Box Store and bought a lot of large lumber, which they brought home with a rented truck. 

On the first day, the woodcutter's wife cleared the garage of all the older wood.  She then labored to get four upright supports installed.  It took All Day.

On the second day, the woodcutter's wife made much worse progress than on the first day.   There were only two more uprights and ties done by the end of the second day, and that took All Day.

On the third day, the woodcutter's wife was determined to make better progress with her wood rack, because it was already taking a day longer than she'd anticipated.  At the end of the third day, the woodcutter stuck his head in the garage and said, "Are you going to finish that today?"
The woodcutter's wife replied, "I have to- I'm out of clean grubbies for tomorrow."  But alas, at the end of the third day the end of the rack was nowhere in sight.

On the morning of the fourth day, the woodcutter's wife threw a load of grubbies into the washing machine.  When they were clean, she eschewed the drying rack for speed and tossed the clean but wet grubbies into the dryer.  Once the grubbies were dry, she donned her favorite Work Pants and set about finishing the wood rack, and finish it she did.  The woodcutter was well pleased with his wife's efforts, and said, "I guess this means I have to finish splitting all that pine."  He helped his wife put away all the split wood they already had.  It filled up half the rack.  The woodcutter's wife was a little worried because she knew there was more pine out back than they had room for in the new rack.  She said, "It doesn't seem to hold as much as we need, but it holds more than the other rack did." 

The woodcutter's wife decided they would worry about that when they needed too. Right now, they still had room in this rack.


Miriam said...

It ALWAYS takes longer than you think it will. At least that's my experience... Your wood crib looks great - sturdy and functional. And don't worry about it not being big enough - you can always rotate in more from outside when a section of the crib is emptied.

I bet your garage smells heavenly with all that freshly split wood!

Jennifer Montero said...

I can't help it, I'm going to make the joke.... Hey Paula, Nice rack!

We need to build a lean-to, to cope with our log overflow. Our wood is currently half-split in a pile killing all the grass underneath. Pathetic.

Paula said...

Thanks Miriam! It is sturdy, and has given me an idea for our guest room. I think we will have to leave some of the wood outside under a tarp, but we'll see how much it actually turns out to be.

Thanks Jen! I was actually trying to figure out how to work that one in, but decided that might be a little too much tooting my own horn...

Toni aka irishlas said...

Well, Jennifer beat me to the joke!
But, I'm gonna say it anyway - nice rack!

We have a LOT of splitting to do. It's been to damned hot to do that kind of physical labor. I'm longing for fall - or at least a 75 degree day!

Danny said...

Great story, Paula.

Biblical proportions.

I mean the shelves in the garage!

Tamar@StarvingofftheLand said...

Hey! I was going to make the rack joke! (It's one of our favorites, along with the master baiter joke.) That's what I get for being AWOL for a couple of days.

Kudos to the Woodcutter's Wife! Just one question -- what do you use the split pine for?

Paula said...

We're going to burn it. If our stove were any other than the type we have, I would seriously think twice about it, but ours has a secondary burner on it, so it burns up all the gases released during the burn. It's kind of cool to look at it, because you can see the gases burning as they shoot out of the burner on top. This stove was the cleanest burning with a cooktop that I could find (1.9 grams per hour).

So I shouldn't have a problem with creosote buildup.